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TIDBITS FINALE

What if there were no hypothetical questions?

Today’s Thought

“The reason most people never reach their goals is that they don’t define them, or ever seriously consider them as believable or achievable. Winners can tell you where they are going, what they plan to do along the way, and who will be sharing the adventure with them.” – Denis Waitley

Welcome to the 1140th issue of TIDBITS. This is also the final issue of the regular TIDBITS newsletter.

As I was up at 3:00 AM last week making sure that I had the mailer ready to go for its scheduled 6:00 AM launch, I realized that it was time to make some changes. Therefore:

  1. The TIDBITS Humor Facebook group, meant originally to supplement this mailing, now replaces it as the “official” TIDBITS.
  2. Those on the TIDBITS mailing list will now receive a smaller “Best of TIDBITS” email that will come out between one and three times a week and won’t hold to a regular schedule or format.
  3. The content of the email will no longer be replicated on my website, TrentPassey.com.

Begun in 1997, and published on and off over 22-1/2 years, the TIDBITS humor email has been a big part of my life. So while I’m sad to see it go, I’m thrilled that the online group has grown into a community of hundreds of members who share humor on a daily basis.

I encourage all of the readers of the newsletter or website to head over to Facebook and participate regularly with us there, and I hope you enjoy this double-sized final edition today.

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TIDBITS | Blondes on a Plane

While most puns make me feel numb, math puns make me feel number!

Today’s Thought

“If I have caused just one person to wipe away a tear of laughter, that’s my reward.” – Victor Borge

“Look here Mike,” Susan said to her husband, “see how Mary’s husband takes her to a movie and dinner every week? Why can’t you do that?”

“Sure dear,” Mike replied, “anything you say. Could you check with her and see if she’s free next Friday?”

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TIDBITS | Fast Bike

I saw an ad for a burial plot and thought to myself, “This is the last thing I need!”

Today’s Thought

“It is impossible for you to be angry and laugh at the same time. Anger and laughter are mutually exclusive and you have the power to choose either.” – Wayne Dyer

A store manager overheard a clerk saying to a customer, “No, ma’am, we haven’t had any for some weeks now, and it doesn’t look as if we’ll be getting any soon.”

Alarmed, the manager rushed over to the customer who was walking out the door and said, “That isn’t true, ma’am. Of course, we’ll have some soon. In fact, we placed an order for it a couple of weeks ago.”

The manager then drew the clerk aside and growled, “Never, never, never, never say we don’t have something. If we don’t have it, say we ordered it and it’s on its way.

“Now, what was it she wanted?”

The clerk answered, “Snow.”

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