May 2018 – Trent Passey Design

TIDBITS | Anger vs. Exasperation

I used to eat a lot of natural foods.

I stopped when I learned that most people die of natural causes.
______

True story, found online:

“I once received a fax with a note on the bottom to fax the document back to the sender when I was finished with it, because he needed to keep it.”
______
Continue reading “TIDBITS | Anger vs. Exasperation”

I saw a poster today. Somebody was asking, “Have you seen my cat?”

So I called the number and said that I didn’t.

I like to help where I can.
______

A hundred years ago, everyone owned a horse and only the rich had cars.

Today, everyone has a car and only the rich have horses.

My dog has an attitude. He is a cocky spaniel.
______

You Know It’s Time to Diet When:

You could sell shade.

You go to the zoo and the elephants throw you peanuts.

Your driver’s license says, “Picture continued on other side.”

You are diagnosed with the flesh eating virus, and the doctor gives you only 22 more years to live.
______
Continue reading “TIDBITS 1065 | Green Up”

Don’t you hate it when someone answers their own questions?

I do.
______

In honor of Mother’s Day next week, TIDBITS is proud to present:

Things Mom Would Never Say

“How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far back?”
“Yeah, I used to skip school a lot, too.”
“Just leave all the lights on… it makes the house look more cheery.”
“Let me smell that shirt — yeah, it’s good for another week.”
“Go ahead and keep that stray dog, honey. I’ll be glad to feed and walk him every day.”
“Well, if Timmy’s mom says it’s OK, that’s good enough for me.”
“The curfew is just a general time to shoot for. It’s not like I’m running a prison around here.”
“I don’t have a tissue with me… just use your sleeve.”
“Don’t bother wearing a jacket — the wind-chill is bound to improve.”