You haven’t tried blindfolded archery?
You don’t know what you’re missing!
Today’s Thought
“The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing.” – Walt Disney
The swordfish has very few predators to worry about in the wild.
(Except for the seldom seen pen-fish, which is said to be even mightier.)
Excellent Reasons to Give Pets Boring Human Names
- To see how long it takes co-workers to realize you’re talking about a pet and not a significan’t other. (“Dave and I were watching a movie in bed the other night.”)
- Or about a kid. (“Maria’s not allowed to eat raisins, she’s allergic.”)
- You can use them as an excuse. (“Taylor hates it when I get home late.”)
- Eventually you get to say things like, “Jennifer got stuck between the wall and the refrigerator again.”
“May I ask the cause of all this excitement?” asked the stranger in the little village.
“Certainly,” replied the countryman. “We’re celebrating the birthday of the oldest inhabitant sir. She’s a hundred and one today.”
“Indeed! And may I ask who is that little man walking by the old lady’s side, with the dreadfully sad countenance?”
“Oh, that’s the old lady’s son-in-law, sir. He’s been keeping up the payments on her life insurance for the last thirty years!”
Quotable
“By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.” – Socrates
Ever notice how everybody wants to go to Heaven, but nobody wants to die to get there?
A Charlotte, North Carolina man having purchased a box of very rare, very expensive cigars, insured them against fire among other things.
Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of cigars and without having made even his first premium payment on the policy, the man filed a claim against the insurance company.
In his claim, the man stated the cigars were lost “in series of small fires.”
The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason; that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion.
The man sued… and won! In delivering the ruling, the judge agreed that the claim was frivolous.
He stated nevertheless that the man held a policy from the company in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure against fire, without defining what is considered to be, “unacceptable fire,” and was obligated to pay the claim.
Rather than endure a lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company accepted the ruling and paid the man $15,000.00 for the rare cigars he had lost in the “fires.”
However…
After the man cashed the check, the insurance company had him arrested on 24 counts of ARSON!
With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being used against him, the man was convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000.00 fine!