Gambling addiction hotlines would do so much better if every fifth caller was a winner.
Today’s Thought
“Everybody laughs the same in every language because laughter is a universal connection.” – Yakov Smirnoff
Just as the graveside service finished, there was a distant lightning bolt accompanied by a tremendous burst of rumbling thunder.
The little old man looked at the pastor and calmly said, “Well, she’s there and it’s His problem now.”
Celibacy can be a choice in life or a condition imposed by circumstances.
While attending a Marriage Weekend seminar, Frank and his wife Ann listened to the instructor declare, “It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other.”
He then addressed the men. “Can you name and describe your wife’s favorite flower?”
Frank leaned over, touched Ann’s arm gently, and whispered, “Gold Medal All-Purpose, isn’t it?”
And thus began Frank’s life of celibacy.
You don’t get to tell me what to do.
You’re not my dog.
Quotable
“I needed a password eight characters long so I picked ‘Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.'” – Nick Helm
Did you know that on the Canary Islands there is not one canary?
And on the Virgin Isles? Same thing.
Not one canary there either!
Things to Ponder
- What if my dog only brings back the ball because he thinks I like throwing it?
- Why is the letter “W” in English called “Double U”? Shouldn’t it be called “Double V”?
- 100 years ago everyone owned a horse and only the rich had cars. Today everyone has cars and only the rich own horses.
- Your future self is watching you right now through memories.
- Which letter is silent in the word “Scent,” the S or the C?
- Every time you clean something, you just make something else dirty.
- The words “swims” upside down is still “swims.”
- Intentionally losing a game of Rock, Paper, Scissors is just as hard as trying to win.
- If you replace the “W” with a “T” in What, Where and When, you get the answer to each of them.
- Maybe oxygen is slowly killing you and it just takes 75-100 years to fully work.
- Many animals probably need glasses, but nobody knows it.
- If you rip a hole in a net, there are actually fewer holes in it than there were before.
- If poison is past its expiration date, is it more poisonous or is it no longer as poisonous?
- Do twins ever realize that one of them is unplanned?