I got mugged by six dwarfs last night.
Not Happy!
Today’s Thought
“A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.” – Roald Dahl
My neighbor just yelled at her kids so loud that even I brushed my teeth and went to bed!
Fashion Manager: “What are you working on?”
Designer: “Pants designed with old guys in mind.”
Manager: “Oh?”
Designer: “They combine the comfort of Dockers with the protection of Depends.”
Manager: “That’s clever.”
Designer: “Yeah, I’m calling them Dry Dockers.”
Dear Algebra,
Please stop asking us to find your X.
She’s never coming back, and don’t ask Y.
A thief broke into my house last night.
I woke up and heard him searching for money.
So I did the rational thing. I got up and searched with him!
I wish I could drop my body off at the gym and pick it back up when it’s ready.
The minister was preoccupied with thoughts of how he was going to ask the congregation to come up with more money than they were expecting for repairs to the church building.
Therefore, he was annoyed to find that the regular organist was sick and a substitute had been brought in at the last minute.
The substitute wanted to know what to play.
“Here’s a copy of the service,” he said impatiently. “But you’ll have to think of something to play after I make the announcement about the finances.”
During the service, the minister paused and said, “Brothers and Sisters, we are in great difficulty; the roof repairs cost twice as much as we expected, and we need $4,000 more. Any of you who can pledge $100 or more, please stand up.”
At that moment, the substitute organist played “The Star-Spangled Banner.”
And that is how the substitute became the regular organist!