Today I saw a dwarf climbing down a prison wall.
I thought to myself, that’s a little condescending.
Today’s Thought
“I do not at all understand the mystery of grace — only that it meets us where we are but does not leave us where it found us.” – Anne Lamott
A man being interviewed for a job was asked, “What are your qualifications for the position of night watchman?”
He replied, “The slightest noise wakes me up!”
A New York family bought a ranch out West where they intended to raise cattle. Friends came to visit and asked if the ranch had a name.
“Well,” said the would-be-cattleman. “I wanted to call it the Bar-J. My wife favored the Suzy-Q. One son liked the Flying-W, and the other son wanted the Lazy-Y. So, we’re calling it the Bar-J-Suzy-Q-Flying-W-Lazy-Y.”
“But where are all your cattle?”
The cattleman replied, “So far, none have survived the branding.”
John was on his deathbed and gasped pitifully. “Grant me one last request, dear,” he said.
“Of course, John,” his wife said softly.
“Six months after I die,” he said, “I want you to marry Bob.”
“But I thought you hated Bob,” she said.
With his last breath John said, “I do!”
Quotable
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Yes, it looks like constant change is here to stay.
A man and his wife were driving their Recreational Vehicle across the country and were nearing a town spelled Kissimee.
They noted the strange spelling and tried to figure how to pronounce it — KISS-a-me; kis-A-me; kis-a-ME. They grew more perplexed as they drove into the town.
Since they were hungry, they pulled into a place to get something to eat. At the counter, the man said to the waitress: “My wife and I can’t seem to be able to figure out how to pronounce this place. Will you tell me where we are and say it very slowly so that I can understand.”
The waitress looked at him and said: “Buuurrrgerrr Kiiiinnnng.”