I started a new exercise routine.
Everyday I do diddly-squats.
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Today’s Thought
“Success is… knowing your purpose in life, growing to reach your maximum potential, and sowing seeds that benefit others.” – John C. Maxwell
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I’m sometimes a terrible person. The other day I was sitting in my truck outside the shopping center watching this guy who apparently forgot where he parked.
He kept putting his remote in the air and every time he squeezed it… I honked my horn!
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An old man went to a wizard to ask him if he could remove a curse he had been living with for the last 40 years.
The wizard said, “Perhaps, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you.”
The old man replied without hesitation, “I now pronounce you man and wife.”
My husband and I divorced over religious differences.
He thought he was God and I didn’t.
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Quotable
“I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.” – Drill sergeant to a friend of the editor while he was in the army
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Highway Patrol Officer: “First name please…”
Pulled-over Woman: “Frida.”
Officer: “Last name…”
Woman: “Gomam.”
Officer, looking at the woman: “You’re Frida Gomam?”
Woman, pulling away: “Thanks Officer!”
Officer, nodding to self: “Nicely played…”
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This is supposedly a true anecdote about Albert Einstein and his theory of relativity.
After having propounded his famous theory, Albert Einstein would tour the various universities in the United States, delivering lectures wherever he went. He was always accompanied by his faithful chauffeur, Harry, who would attend each of these lectures while seated in the back row.
One fine day, after Einstein had finished a lecture and was coming out of the auditorium into his vehicle, Harry addresses him and says, “Professor Einstein, I’ve heard your lecture on Relativity so many times, that if I were ever given the opportunity, I would be able to deliver it to perfection myself!”
“Very well,” replied Einstein, “I’m going to Dartmouth next week. They don’t know me there. You can deliver the lecture as Einstein, and I’ll take your place as Harry!”
And so it went to be. Harry delivered the lecture to perfection, without a word out of place, while Einstein sat in the back row playing “chauffeur,” and enjoying a snooze for a change.
Just as Harry was descending from the podium, however, one of the research assistants intercepted him, and began to ask him a question on the theory of relativity, one that involved a lot of complex calculations and equations. Harry replied to the assistant, “The answer to this question is very simple! In fact, it’s so simple, that I’m going to let my chauffeur answer it!”