I broke my personal record for a 100 meter dash!
I’m on 64 meters.
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Today’s Thought
“You measure the size of the accomplishment by the obstacles you had to overcome to reach your goals.” – Booker T. Washington
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We have a strange custom in the office where I work. The food has names there.
Yesterday, for example, I got myself a sandwich out of the fridge, and its name was “Michael.”
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A drunk guy in Alaska decides to go ice fishing. So he packs up his stuff and goes out onto the ice. He starts sawing a hole in the ice, and a loud booming voice says,
“YOU WILL FIND NO FISH UNDER THAT ICE.”
The drunk looks up, ignores it, and continues on.
The voice repeats, “YOU WILL FIND NO FISH
The drunk looks up and says, “Is this God trying to warn me?”
The voice says “NO, I’M THE MANAGER OF THIS ICE RINK.”
I was in a restaurant this morning eating my breakfast when someone screamed, “Does anyone know CPR?”
I yelled, “I know the entire alphabet!”
We all laughed and laughed.
Well, except one guy.
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Youngsterisms
Quotable Ideas About Astronomy from Kids
“When people run around and around in circles we say they are crazy. When planets do it we say they are orbiting.”
“Most books now say our sun is a star. But it still knows how to change back into a sun in the daytime.”
“There is a tremendous weight pushing down on the center of the Earth because of so much population stomping around up there these days.”
“While the earth seems to be knowingly keeping its distance from the sun, it is really only centrificating.”
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Husband: “When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you control your anger?”
Wife: “I clean the toilet.”
Husband: “How does that help?”
Wife: “I use your toothbrush.”
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Harold and Al were on a small chartered airplane when the pilot suddenly had a heart attack.
“Don’t Panic,” cried Harold heroically. “I’ll land this baby!”
Seizing the controls he headed for the runway at LaGuardia Airport, and began wrestling the diving plane to the ground. Just as the wheels touched the ground, Al screamed, “Red lights!! Right in front of you!”
Immediately Harold threw the engine in reverse and jammed on the breaks, bringing the plane to a violent stop just inches from the edge of the lights.
“Brother!” he puffed, wiping his brow. “That sure was a short runway!”
“Yeah,” agreed Al, looking side to side, “but look how WIDE it is.”