If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.
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Today’s Thought
“My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.” – Maya Angelou
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A schoolgirl says to her friend, “I wished I’d lived a thousand years ago.”
“Why?” her friend asks.
“Well,” replies the girl, “there wouldn’t be so much history to learn.”
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What did the Yogi say when he walked into the Zen Pizza Parlor?
“Make me one with everything.”
When the Yogi got the pizza, he gave the proprietor a $20 bill. The proprietor pocketed the bill.
The Yogi said, “Don’t I get change?”
The proprietor replied, “Change must come from within.”
“When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden,” a young woman said to her boyfriend.
“That’s very kind of you, darling,” her boyfriend replied, “but I don’t have any worries or troubles.”
“Well, that’s because we aren’t married yet.”
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Quotable
“Remember men, we’re fighting for this woman’s honor; which is probably more than she ever did.” – Groucho Marx
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Doctor: “I believe you may suffer from kleptomania.”
Patient: “Should I take something for it?”
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Several cannibals were recently hired by a big corporation.
“You are all part of our team now,” said the HR rep during the welcoming briefing. “You get all the usual benefits and you can go to the cafeteria for something to eat, but please don’t eat any of the other employees.”
The cannibals promised to be good. Four weeks later their boss remarked, “You’re all working very hard, and I’m satisfied with you. However, one of our secretaries has disappeared. Do any of you know what happened to her?”
The cannibals all shook their heads “no.”
After the boss had left, the leader of the cannibals said to the others, “Which one of you idiots ate the secretary?”
A hand raised hesitantly, to which the leader of the cannibals continued, “You fool! For four weeks we’ve been eating managers and no one noticed anything, but noooooo, you had to go and eat the secretary!”