Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.
Today’s Thought
“People who succeed have momentum. The more they succeed, the more they want to succeed, and the more they find a way to succeed. Similarly, when someone is failing, the tendency is to get on a downward spiral that can even become a self-fulfilling prophecy.” – Tony Robbins
One of the most weird things about being an adult is having a favorite stove top burner.
Yet nobody talks about it.
Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. “Why do you do that mommy?” he asked.
“To make myself beautiful,” said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue.
“What’s the matter?” asked Little Johnny. “Giving up?”
Me (texting boss): “Are we still on for today?”
Boss: “Yes. You don’t need to text me this every morning. We are still ‘on’ for work every day, Monday through Friday.”
Quotable
“My dad suggested I register for a donor card. He’s a man after my own heart.” – Masai Graham
Editor: They say nothing rhymes with “orange,” but I beg to differ…
I tried to sneak into my house
With a bag full of oranges.
But I was given away
By those rusty old door hinges!
A man sits quietly reading his morning paper one Sunday morning. Suddenly, he is knocked almost senseless by his wife, who stands behind him holding a frying pan in hand.
Man: “What was that for?”
Wife: “Why do you have a piece of paper in your pocket with ‘Daisy’ written on it?”
Man: “Oh honey, don’t you remember two weeks ago when I went to the horse races? Daisy was the name of the horse I bet on.”
The wife is satisfied, and apologizes for hitting him.
Three days later he is again sitting reading the paper when once again he is bonked on the head.
Man: “What’s that for this time?”
Wife: “Your horse called.”