When the big TIDBITS anniversary came up in February (20 years since my first one, 12 since my last) I was already creating three separate joke mailings: a general weekly one with a set number of installments that still had a year to go; a specialty one that came out fairly regularly; and a bonus humor mailing that came out sporadically.
I knew I just had to start up TIDBITS again for the occasion, but what to do with my other humor mailings? Well, I decided that I should abandon the bonus mailing and just fold its mailing list into a new one for TIDBITS (these were all people who had expressed an interest in extra humor from me, so I figured I could just add them). I decided to keep the other two mailings going, however, since I only had a year left on the one, and the other was fairly simple to create and wasn’t on a set schedule (though I’ve now made it a mostly-weekly one).
I thought TIDBITS would be pretty easy to do, but I was wrong. It takes a lot out of me, especially in conjunction with the other two (plus the fact that I repost TIDBITS to my website and have to go through the HTML code to try to make it match the email version as closely as possible, which takes a lot of time). Sometimes I feel like slowing down production, or even throwing in the towel. Then I get letters from readers like the following that give me a boost to keep going:
“Trent, thanks for the endless hours you spend on all of us making our weeks happier!! Tidbits [and the other mailings] are good oil to grease old tired machines!! Humor makes us all equal in level of enjoyment, young and old, which is hard to find as we get older something to make me happy and laugh out loud even when I look in the mirror and see grey hair, fat gut, bunches of burned off pre cancer crap from the dermatologist and forget the problems and just smile at your jokes. Thanks again for taking the time to make my life and many others brighter!”
And that is why I continue to do what I do. So, “Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more!” I pledge to keep at this for as long as I am able to do so.
Laura Ingalls Wilder said it best, “Remember me with smiles and laughter, for that is how I will remember you all. If you can only remember me with tears, then don’t remember me at all.” Well, I hope today’s offerings will give you some memorable smiles a bit of laughter to carry with you this week.
Enjoy!
PHOTO-CARTOON OF THE WEEK
<Click Image to Enlarge>
INSPIRATION
“Life is not about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” – Lolly Daskal
HUMOR
“Sir, you have got to help!” said the tearful man at my door. “There is a family that I know very well that is in desperate need of money. The father has been out of a job for over a year, they have five kids at home with barely a bit of food to eat.
“The worst part is, they are about to kicked out of the house and they will be left on the streets without a roof over their heads!” the man concluded with one last heart wrenching sob.
“Well,” I replied, “that really is a sad story. Why don’t you come inside and we’ll talk about it a little more.”
Once we were both seated, I asked, “So how much money is needed exactly?”
“Oh, it’s really terrible,” the man stated. “Why just for the rent, $3000 is needed by tomorrow. Otherwise, they’ll be kicked out onto the streets.”
“How do you happen to know so much about this situation?” I asked the man as I reached for my checkbook.
“Well,” said the man, breaking down into tears once more, “I am their landlord.”
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This next one is dedicated to reader E., who happens to be a law librarian:
Q. What do you get when you cross a librarian and a lawyer?
A. All the information you want, except you can’t understand it.
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True Fact:
The unicorn is the national animal of Scotland.
Learn more
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An overweight business associate of mine decided it was time to shed some excess pounds. He took his new diet seriously, even changing his driving route to avoid his favorite bakery.
One morning, however, he arrived at work carrying a gigantic coffeecake. We all scolded him, but his smile remained cherubic.
“This is a very special coffeecake,” he explained. “I accidentally drove by the bakery this morning and there in the window were a host of goodies. I felt this was no accident, so I prayed, ‘Lord, if you want me to have one of those delicious coffeecakes, let me have a parking place directly in front of the bakery.’
“And sure enough,” he continued, “the eighth time around the block, there it was!”
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Quotable:
“Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the worst movies in the history of the world.” – Dave Barry
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Keep the dream alive!
Hit the snooze button.
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A family was having dinner on Mother’s Day. For some reason the mother was unusually quiet. Finally the father asked what was wrong.
“Nothing,” replied the woman.
Not buying it, he asked again. “Seriously, what’s wrong?”
“Do you really want to know? Well, I’ll tell you. I have cooked and cleaned and fed the kids for 15 years and now on Mother’s Day, you don’t even tell me so much as ‘Thank you.'”
“Why should I?” he responded. “Not once in 15 years have I gotten any appreciation on Father’s Day.”
“Yes,” she said, “but I’m their real mother.”
FEATURED VIDEOS
For a funny video this week, we turn to Jack, who hasn’t quite gotten over the anesthesia after his trip to the dentist:
That was just an excerpt, so here is the longer version, if you are interested:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pdA_T9UMKlg
Bonus Video: If you like that sort of thing, here is Julie, still at the dentist’s office:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zgB2ziyAteI
Extra Bonus Video: Two brothers convince their sister, who has just left the dentist, that the Zombie Apocalypse has begun:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PXWn_mRnX0I
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We just passed Star Wars day on May 4th (apparently so designated since “May the Fourth” sounds a lot like “May the Force Be with You”). In honor of that, here is Steven Sharp Nelson, the cello half of the Piano Guys duo, performing — with himself — “Cello Wars”:
Keep smiling!