TIDBITS 1010

I hope everyone is enjoying the variety of materials we are presenting here in TIDBITS.

While it would be a lot simpler to just limit this mailing to a few jokes, I find it very fulfilling to put a little extra in each installment.

One long-time reader of my various joke mailings over the years seems to like the format:

I love the diversity of what you are sharing in your Tidbits Trent!!

The jokes, the trivia, the videos.

Wonderful!!

You are so awesome for sharing all this wealth of knowledge and diversity in culture and various areas of life.

I really do appreciate all the time and effort that you put in to sharing so much with us weekly!!

Thank you for being you!

(Well, if I wasn’t me, I’m not sure who I’d be!)

Victor Hugo said it best: “Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face.” Well, give your face some Spring today by reading the latest TIDBITS!

Enjoy!


INSPIRATION

Man does not live by a turkey in every oven,

or a color TV set in every home.

Man lives by faith and hope and love,

by the star on the horizon,

by the trumpet that will not call retreat.

– E. Merrill Root


PHOTO-CARTOON OF THE WEEK

Canada Built a Wall Too!


HUMOR

The father of five children won a toy at a raffle. He called his kids together to ask which one should have the present.

“Who is the most obedient?” he asked. “Who never talks back to mother? Who does everything she says?”

The children all looked at each other and then answered in unison: “Okay, dad, you get the toy.”
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True Fact:

United Artists accidentally mistitled the ELO album ‘No Answer’ due to a missed phone message!
Learn more
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[This one was submitted by reader E.]

From the day I met her, she was not what I expected her to be, and I just couldn’t be with someone that stubborn.
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Quotable:

“Everyone has a sense of humor. If you don’t laugh at jokes, you probably laugh at opinions.” – Criss Jami
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[This piece was featured in TIDBITS #800, sent on New Year’s Day 2004.]

A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, “Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?”

The first man approached him and said, “Sir, I don’t wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than I’ve ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent?”

The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then replied, “My wife’s first husband.”
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True Facts:

The average garden snail has over 14,000 teeth.
Learn more

Some snails can kill you!
Learn more
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What’s wrong with lawyer jokes?

Lawyers don’t think they’re funny, and nobody else seems to think that they’re jokes.
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Quotable:

“I can resist everything but temptation.” – Mark Twain
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Late one night a man is driving down the road, speeding quite a bit. A cop notices how fast he is going and pulls him over. The cop says to the man, “Are you aware of how fast you were going?”

The man replies, “Yes I am. I’m trying to escape a robbery I got involved in.”

The cop gives him a skeptical look and says, “Were you the one being robbed?”

The man casually replies, “No, I committed the robbery.”

The cop looks shocked that the man admitted this. “So you’re telling me you were speeding… AND committed a robbery?”

“Yes,” the man calmly says. “I have the loot in the back.”

The cop begins to get angry. “Sir, I’m afraid you have to come with me.” The cop reaches in the window to subdue the man.

“Don’t do that!” the man yells fearfully. “I’m scared you will find the gun in my glove compartment!” The cop pulls his hand out. “Wait here,” he says.

The cop calls for backup. Soon cops, cars, and helicopters are flooding the area. The man is cuffed quickly and taken towards a car. However, before he gets in, a cop walks up to him and says, while gesturing to the cop that pulled him over, “Sir, this officer informed us that you had committed a robbery, had stolen loot in the trunk of your car, and had a loaded gun in your glove compartment. However, we found none of these things in your car.”

The man replies, “Yeah, and I bet that liar said I was speeding too!”


FEATURED VIDEOS

Here’s a little bit of inspiration to start off our videos this week:

When reader T suggested the videos of the group Walk off the Earth to be featured in TIDBITS, I sampled some and found the one that was presented in our last issue. As I was watching them, I felt sure that I had seen one of their videos before and sure enough, I’ve finally come across it. I thought I would feature it here, if you don’t mind hearing from them again so soon.

We need to have at least one funny video in here, so here is one I found of Dana Carvey talking about Organized Religion that I encountered for the first time while trying to find his “Choppin’ Broccoli” bit featured in TIDBITS 1006. Unless you are a Scientologist, you probably won’t find it offensive (and apologies if you are one or are otherwise offended).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eMtYEhKVBEg


Keep laughing!

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