I thought I was mistaken…
but I was wrong.
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Today’s Thought
“I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.” – Thomas Jefferson
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TIDBITS | Packing Heat
Did ya hear? They took the word “gullible” out of the dictionary!
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Today’s Thought
“We cannot tell what may happen to us in the strange medley of life. But we can decide what happens in us, how we take it, what we do with it — and that is what really counts in the end.” – Joseph Fort Newton
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Continue reading “TIDBITS | Packing Heat”
TIDBITS | There ‘Til the End
Whenever I’m sad I just read my blood donor ID.
It always says “B positive.”
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[Here’s another ID joke.]
An Arkansas State trooper pulls over a pickup truck on I-40 and says to the driver, “Got any ID?”
The driver replies in a drawl, “‘Bout what?”
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Continue reading “TIDBITS | There ‘Til the End”
TIDBITS | One Clever Dog
Some guy in the street stopped me to give me a flier on anger management.
I admit I lost it.
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Today’s Thought
“Thinking should become your capital asset, no matter whatever ups and downs you come across in your life.” – A.P.J. Abdul Kalam
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TIDBITS | Technologically Challenged
I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym today.
That’s seven years in a row now.
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Today’s Thought
“Happiness is a butterfly, which, when pursued, is always beyond your grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you.” – Nathaniel Hawthorne
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TIDBITS | A Pig Like That
Whenever someone asks me to sign their cast, I always write: “Last warning. You have one week to get the money!”
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Today’s Thought
“The way things are today, we live in a world that needs laughter, and I’ve decided if I can make people laugh, I’m making a more important contribution.” – Paul Lynde
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TIDBITS | Efficiency Expert
“Some things are better left unsaid.”
(Which is what I usually realize right after having said them.)
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Today’s Thought
“If you don’t value your time, neither will others. Stop giving away your time and talents — start charging for it.” – Kim Garst
[Editor: Great advice, but I still plan to provide TIDBITS for free to all of you for the foreseeable future!]
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TIDBITS | Praise the Lord
I collect vintage time pieces. When I see one I like at an online auction, I put it on my watch list.
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Today’s Thought
“I don’t want to get to the end of my life and find that I lived just the length of it. I want to have lived the width of it as well.” – Diane Ackerman
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TIDBITS | Favorite Animal
Why do they call it a hot water heater when you don’t have to heat hot water?
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Today’s Thought
“Little minds are tamed and subdued by misfortune; but great minds rise above it.” – Washington Irving
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TIDBITS | Crowded Grave
Why haven’t you ever seen any elephants hiding up trees? Because they’re really, really good at it.
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Today’s Thought
“There is no chance, no destiny, no fate, that can hinder or control the firm resolve of a determined soul.” — Ella Wheeler Wilcox
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Continue reading “TIDBITS | Crowded Grave”