Author: Trent

Just Wondering…

Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

Why isn’t phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

Why is it that when you transport something by car, it’s called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it’s called cargo?
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Quotable

“I got an odd-job man in. He was useless.

“Gave him a list of eight things to do and he only did numbers one, three, five and seven.” — Stephen Grant
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Continue reading “TIDBITS 1053 | Exercise Diary”

Don’t underestimate me. I know karate!

(I also know three other Japanese words.)
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“I couldn’t afford to buy a house, so I decided to rob a bank,” one inmate said to another. “Now I’m all set.”

“You have the money stashed somewhere?” the other asked.

“Not exactly,” came the reply, “but the judge assured me that I wouldn’t have to worry about housing for the next 10 to 15 years.”
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Continue reading “TIDBITS 1052 | Princess Frog”

These days, about half the stuff in my shopping cart say, “For fast relief.”
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My mother said she doesn’t think of it as “getting hot flashes.”

She says she thinks of it as “her inner child playing with matches.”
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Continue reading “TIDBITS 1051 | Scene of the Accident”

The other night I ate at a true family restaurant.

Every table had an argument going.
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All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
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Continue reading “TIDBITS 1050 | Anniversary Edition”

Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day.

Teach a person to use the Internet and they won’t bother you for weeks.
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Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
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Continue reading “TIDBITS 1049”

It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable.

Now, of course, there’s shipping and handling, too.
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I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and think, “Well, that’s not going to happen.”
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Continue reading “TIDBITS 1048”

A husband is someone who takes out the trash and gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house.
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I had just started eating my main course at the animal rights barbecue when it occurred to me that something didn’t seem quite right.
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Continue reading “TIDBITS 1047”

Don’t let aging get you down.

(It’s too hard to get back up!)
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I’m getting into swing dancing.

Not on purpose. Some parts of my body are just prone to swinging now.
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Continue reading “TIDBITS 1046”

I’d love to attend the assertiveness training, but I’d better check with my wife first.
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The good-natured boss was finally compelled to call Sam into his office.

“It has not escaped my attention,” he pointed out, “that every time there’s a home game at the stadium, you have to take your aunt to the doctor.”

“You know… you’re right, sir,” exclaimed Smith, “I didn’t realize it. You don’t suppose she’s faking, do you?”
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Continue reading “TIDBITS 1045”

How is Christmas like a day at your job?

You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit!
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It’s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas.
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Continue reading “TIDBITS Christmas Special”