Author: Trent

I have a fear of speed bumps, but I’m slowly getting over it.
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Today’s Thought

“Never give up on someone with a mental illness. When ‘I’ is replaced by ‘We,’ illness becomes wellness.” – Shannon L. Alder
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Continue reading “TIDBITS | Fishin’ Expedition”

I owe a lot to the sidewalks.

They’ve been keeping me off the streets for years.
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Today’s Thought

“Just when the caterpillar thought the world was ending, he turned into a butterfly.” – Proverb
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Continue reading “TIDBITS | Class Reunion”

My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot.

It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away.
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Today’s Thought

“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”
– Thomas A. Edison
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Continue reading “TIDBITS | Three Envelopes”

One government official said to another, “I don’t know what people have against us. We haven’t done anything!”
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Today’s Thought

“To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream, not only plan, but also believe.” – Anatole France
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Continue reading “TIDBITS | Ah, Chocolate”

Apparently, I’m really good at being lazy.

In fact, my doctor even said that if I continue being this lazy I should expect atrophy.
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Today’s Thought

“Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear — not absence of fear.” – Mark Twain
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Continue reading “TIDBITS | To Remember Him By”

I really can’t stand it when homeless guys shake their cups of money at me.

Do they really have to rub it in that they’ve got more cash than I do?
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Today’s Thought

“The whole secret of a successful life is to find out what is one’s destiny to do, and then do it.” – Henry Ford
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Continue reading “TIDBITS | Big John”

I used to eat a lot of natural foods.

I stopped when I learned that most people die of natural causes.
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True story, found online:

“I once received a fax with a note on the bottom to fax the document back to the sender when I was finished with it, because he needed to keep it.”
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Continue reading “TIDBITS | Anger vs. Exasperation”

I saw a poster today. Somebody was asking, “Have you seen my cat?”

So I called the number and said that I didn’t.

I like to help where I can.
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A hundred years ago, everyone owned a horse and only the rich had cars.

Today, everyone has a car and only the rich have horses.

Oh, how the stables have turned.
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Continue reading “TIDBITS 1066 | A Night in the Barn”

My dog has an attitude. He is a cocky spaniel.
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You Know It’s Time to Diet When:

You could sell shade.

You go to the zoo and the elephants throw you peanuts.

Your driver’s license says, “Picture continued on other side.”

You are diagnosed with the flesh eating virus, and the doctor gives you only 22 more years to live.
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Continue reading “TIDBITS 1065 | Green Up”

Don’t you hate it when someone answers their own questions?

I do.
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In honor of Mother’s Day next week, TIDBITS is proud to present:

Things Mom Would Never Say

• “How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far back?”
• “Yeah, I used to skip school a lot, too.”
• “Just leave all the lights on… it makes the house look more cheery.”
• “Let me smell that shirt — yeah, it’s good for another week.”
• “Go ahead and keep that stray dog, honey. I’ll be glad to feed and walk him every day.”
• “Well, if Timmy’s mom says it’s OK, that’s good enough for me.”
• “The curfew is just a general time to shoot for. It’s not like I’m running a prison around here.”
• “I don’t have a tissue with me… just use your sleeve.”
• “Don’t bother wearing a jacket — the wind-chill is bound to improve.”

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Continue reading “TIDBITS 1064 | Don’t Step on the Ducks”