Mary had a little lamb.
The doctor was surprised.
______
Today’s Thought
“Only put off until tomorrow what you are willing to die having left undone.” – Pablo Picasso
______
Continue reading “TIDBITS | We Don’t Stop There”
TIDBITS | Perfect Husband
As a matter of fact, no, I don’t have a life.
______
Today’s Thought
“Humor is the most precious gift I can give to my reader, a reminder that the world is not such a terribly serious place. There is more than video games and drugs and nuclear threats; there is laughter, and there is hope.” – James Howe
______
Continue reading “TIDBITS | Perfect Husband”
TIDBITS | Worthy to Enter
I thought I was mistaken…
but I was wrong.
______
Today’s Thought
“I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.” – Thomas Jefferson
______
Continue reading “TIDBITS | Worthy to Enter”
TIDBITS | Packing Heat
Did ya hear? They took the word “gullible” out of the dictionary!
______
Today’s Thought
“We cannot tell what may happen to us in the strange medley of life. But we can decide what happens in us, how we take it, what we do with it — and that is what really counts in the end.” – Joseph Fort Newton
______
Continue reading “TIDBITS | Packing Heat”
TIDBITS | There ‘Til the End
Whenever I’m sad I just read my blood donor ID.
It always says “B positive.”
______
[Here’s another ID joke.]
An Arkansas State trooper pulls over a pickup truck on I-40 and says to the driver, “Got any ID?”
The driver replies in a drawl, “‘Bout what?”
______
Continue reading “TIDBITS | There ‘Til the End”
TIDBITS | One Clever Dog
Some guy in the street stopped me to give me a flier on anger management.
I admit I lost it.
______
Today’s Thought
“Thinking should become your capital asset, no matter whatever ups and downs you come across in your life.” – A.P.J. Abdul Kalam
______
Continue reading “TIDBITS | One Clever Dog”
TIDBITS | Technologically Challenged
I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym today.
That’s seven years in a row now.
______
Today’s Thought
“Happiness is a butterfly, which, when pursued, is always beyond your grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you.” – Nathaniel Hawthorne
______
Continue reading “TIDBITS | Technologically Challenged”
TIDBITS | A Pig Like That
Whenever someone asks me to sign their cast, I always write: “Last warning. You have one week to get the money!”
______
Today’s Thought
“The way things are today, we live in a world that needs laughter, and I’ve decided if I can make people laugh, I’m making a more important contribution.” – Paul Lynde
______
Continue reading “TIDBITS | A Pig Like That”
TIDBITS | Efficiency Expert
“Some things are better left unsaid.”
(Which is what I usually realize right after having said them.)
______
Today’s Thought
“If you don’t value your time, neither will others. Stop giving away your time and talents — start charging for it.” – Kim Garst
[Editor: Great advice, but I still plan to provide TIDBITS for free to all of you for the foreseeable future!]
______
Continue reading “TIDBITS | Efficiency Expert”
TIDBITS | Praise the Lord
I collect vintage time pieces. When I see one I like at an online auction, I put it on my watch list.
______
Today’s Thought
“I don’t want to get to the end of my life and find that I lived just the length of it. I want to have lived the width of it as well.” – Diane Ackerman
______
Continue reading “TIDBITS | Praise the Lord”