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I’ve started investing in stocks.
Specifically, beef, chicken and vegetable.
One day I hope to be a bouillonaire.
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Today’s Thought
“If you want to achieve excellence, you can get there today. As of this second, quit doing less-than-excellent work.” – Thomas J. Watson
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My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it.
We had some drinks. Cool guy.
He wants to be a web developer.
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Continue reading “TIDBITS | Resume Bloopers”
Why did the blonde take her new scarf back to the store?
It was too tight.
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Today’s Thought
“There’s a lot of things great about life. But I think tomorrow is the most important thing. Comes in to us at midnight very clean, ya know. It’s perfect when it arrives and it puts itself in our hands. It hopes we’ve learned something from yesterday.” – John Wayne
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When a blind woman tells her boyfriend that she is seeing someone, it could either be really terrible news or really great news.
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Continue reading “TIDBITS | In the Sahara”
I plan to live to be 100, since very few people die at age 100.
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Today’s Thought
“You must expect great things of yourself before you can do them.” – Michael Jordan
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One way to find out if you are old is to fall down in front of a lot of people.
If they laugh, you’re still young.
If they panic and start running to you, you’re old.
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Continue reading “TIDBITS | Cinderella’s Last Wish”
We are born naked, wet, and hungry.
Then things get worse.
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Today’s Thought
“The most interesting information comes from children, for they tell all they know and then stop.” – Mark Twain
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Continue reading “TIDBITS | Youngsterisms”
I started a new exercise routine.
Everyday I do diddly-squats.
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Today’s Thought
“Success is… knowing your purpose in life, growing to reach your maximum potential, and sowing seeds that benefit others.” – John C. Maxwell
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I’m sometimes a terrible person. The other day I was sitting in my truck outside the shopping center watching this guy who apparently forgot where he parked.
He kept putting his remote in the air and every time he squeezed it… I honked my horn!
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Continue reading “TIDBITS | It’s All Relative”