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TIDBITS | Final Exam

Don’t wear headphones while vacuuming. I just finished the whole house and realized the vacuum wasn’t even plugged in.
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Today’s Thought

“People rarely succeed unless they have fun in what they are doing.” – Dale Carnegie
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A husband returns from kindergarten with a little boy and asks his wife, “He’s been crying the whole way home. Is he sick or something?”

“No,” replies the wife calmly, “he’s probably just trying to tell you he isn’t our little Frankie.”
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TIDBITS | Cannot Tell a Lie

Did you hear about the guy who fell into an upholstery machine last week?

He’s now fully recovered.
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Today’s Thought

“If you want to make a permanent change, stop focusing on the size of your problems and start focusing on the size of you!”  – T. Harv Eker
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A pig and a chicken were walking by a church where a gala charity event was taking place. Getting caught up in the spirit, the pig suggested to the chicken that they each make a contribution.

“Great idea!” the chicken cried. “Let’s offer them ham and eggs?”

“Not so fast,” said the pig testily. “For you, that’s a contribution. For me, it’s a total commitment.”
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TIDBITS | He Who Is Without Sin

My friend went bald years ago but still carries an old comb around with him.

He just can’t part with it.
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Today’s Thought

“A man can be as great as he wants to be. If you believe in yourself and have the courage, the determination, the dedication, the competitive drive and if you are willing to sacrifice the little things in life and pay the price for the things that are worthwhile, it can be done.” – Vince Lombardi
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The officer said, “You’re staggering.”

I replied, “You’re quite the handsome fella yourself!”

We just laughed and laughed.

I NEED BAIL MONEY!
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