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I never give up on my dreams!
(I just keep sleeping until I’m late for work.)
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A blonde was at home watching TV with her friends when she heard a noise. She ran out just in time to see a thief drive off in her car.
“Did you see their face?” her friends asked when she came back inside.
“No, but it’s okay — I got the license plate number!”
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Continue reading “TIDBITS 1033”
I’ve just written a song about a tortilla.
Although, now that I think about it, it’s actually more of a rap.
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Wife: Whatcha doing?
Me: Nothing.
Wife: You did that yesterday.
Me: I wasn’t finished.
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Continue reading “TIDBITS 1032”
What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo?
One weighs a ton, the other is a little lighter.
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My eyelids must be really sexy.
I just can’t keep my eyes off them!
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Continue reading “TIDBITS 1031”
A father was washing the car with his young son.
After a while the boy asked, “Dad, can we use a sponge now?”
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Did you hear about the psychic amnesiac?
He knew in advance what he was going to forget.
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