It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.
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The menu said “Breakfast any time,” so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.
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TIDBITS 1028
I recently ordered a thesaurus online and when it arrived it was blank.
I literally have no words to describe how angry I am.
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A reporter was interviewing a 103 year-old woman.
“And what do you think is the best thing about being 103?” the reporter asked.
She replied simply, “No peer pressure.”
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TIDBITS 1027
I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off!
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Tech-savvy man to his aged father: “I don’t think you even know what a hard drive is.”
Aged father: “I’ve driven across the country with your mother and you kids. I know what a hard drive is.”
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TIDBITS 1026
Today I gave my dead batteries away.
Free of charge!
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I’ve just opened a new restaurant called Karma.
There’s no menu, we just give you what you deserve.
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