TIDBITS 1026

Today I gave my dead batteries away.

Free of charge!
______

I’ve just opened a new restaurant called Karma.

There’s no menu, we just give you what you deserve.
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Editor’s Note

TIDBITS is back after a week off. Having become a little burned out with it, I decided to not only take a break, but also to simplify it moving forward. Our new format condenses each issue down to six mostly short jokes, with a fun or funny video of the week in the middle of them.

The hardest part of creating each issue was coming up with a photo-cartoon of the week. Most of the time these cartoons have just been self-serving, talking about TIDBITS itself, with the remainder poking a little gentle fun at President Trump. To reduce my stress, I’ve decided to eliminate the photo-cartoon as a regular feature, moving the video of the week up to its old spot.

From time to time I will include an extra feature or two that won’t take away from the number of regular jokes. This Editor’s Note and the Reader Comments section below are two examples. These extra items will often be marked with the word “Bonus” and will usually be former regular features, such as music videos, inspirational thoughts, weird true facts, funny true “Quotables,” and yes, even the occasional photo-cartoon.

By simplifying TIDBITS I should be able to keep it coming to each of you, week in and week out.

– Trent

P.S.: If anyone is going into withdrawal over a lack of a photo-cartoon this week, you can review past installments at the two links below (note that there is some duplication between the two topics).

Photo-Cartoons about Trent and TIDBITS:
http://trentpassey.com//photo-cartoons-about-trent-and-tidbits/

Photo-Cartoons about Donald Trump:
http://trentpassey.com//tidbits-photo-cartoons-about-trump/
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A DEA officer stopped at a ranch in Texas and approached an old rancher. “Sir,” he told the rancher, “I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs.”

“Okay,” the rancher replied. Pointing to a pasture he added, “Just please don’t go into that field over there.”

The DEA officer verbally exploded, “Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me!”

Reaching into his rear pants pocket, he removed his badge and proudly displayed it to the rancher. “See this badge?! This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish. On any land! No questions asked! Do you understand?!!”

The rancher nodded politely, apologized, and went about his chores.

A short time later, the old rancher heard some loud screams. He looked up and saw the DEA officer running for his life, being chased by the rancher’s big Santa Gertrudis bull. With every step the bull was gaining ground on the terrified officer, and it seemed likely that the man would sure enough get gored before he reached safety.

The rancher threw down his tools, ran to the fence and yelled at the top of his lungs, “Your badge! Show him your BADGE!!”


FEATURED VIDEO


Reader Comments

Editor: When I decided to not put out an issue last week, I sent a note to all subscribers explaining why I was taking a break. In response, I received quite an outpouring of support from several of you, so I thought I’d share some of the comments here.

From E:

We’ll miss it, but we understand.

From F:

Have a great vacation and hear from tidbits when you return!!

Thanks for the laughs

From C1:

Your heartfelt endeavors are some of my greatest weekly enjoyments.  Please keep them coming.

From L I received this note that made me smile:

Trent, you are awesome to prepare and send these out. I enjoy them. However, you should not feel pressured or responsible to send them out on a weekly basis, or ever for that matter. In my opinion, it should just be something that is fun for you and you should only send them out when you feel like it.

If anyone on your email list is expecting and/or demanding that you send them out every week, let me know who they are and I’ll go slap them around.

And from C2 I received:

I wondered how long you were going to be able to keep up with all of the humor mailings that you do. I totally understand you needing a break and to cut down in some areas.

I just appreciate all that you do and the uplift I get when receiving your mailing whenever I get them. Perhaps not getting them as often will just make us look forward to them that much more!

Thanks for all you do and enjoy your break!
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I took a self-defense course this year.

I wouldn’t recommend that anyone attack me in slow motion now.
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A guy is walking down the street with his friend. He says, “I’m just a walking economy.”

His friend asks, “What do you mean?”

“It’s like this: My hairline is in recession, my stomach is a victim of inflation, and the combination of these factors is putting me into a deep depression.
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Murphy was walking home one night, when, all of a sudden, a thief jumped on him.

Murphy and the thief began to wrestle. They rolled about on the ground and Murphy put up a tremendous fight. However, the thief managed to get the better of him and pinned him to the ground.

The thief then went through Murphy’s pockets and searched him. All the thief could find on Murphy was 25 cents.

The thief was so surprised at this that he asked Murphy why he had bothered to fight so hard for 25 cents.

“Was that all you wanted?” Murphy replied, “I thought you were after the five hundred dollars I’ve got in me shoe!”

 

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