Category Archives: TIDBITS

TIDBITS 1041

If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip! ______ I hope the kids never figure out why I say “Oooops!” so often when I vacuum their rooms. ______

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TIDBITS 1040

The sole purpose of a child’s middle name is so he can tell when he’s really in trouble! ______ Always remember that a penny saved… is a government oversight! ______

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TIDBITS 1039

I love pressing F5. It’s so refreshing. ______ If you can’t be kind, at least have the decency to be vague. ______

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TIDBITS 1038

When I die, I want my tombstone to be a WiFi hotspot. That way people will visit more often. ______ Have you heard about the new Korean cookbook? It’s called, “101 Ways to WOK Your Dog.” ______

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TIDBITS 1037

I wonder if earth makes fun of other planets for having no life. ______ Love is staying up all night with a sick child… or a healthy adult! ______

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TIDBITS 1036

I refused to believe my road worker father was stealing from his job. But when I got home, all the signs were there. ______ Interviewer: “What is your greatest strength?” Applicant: “I quickly and decisively make decisions when under pressure.” … Continue reading

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TIDBITS 1035

They say that change is hard. I guess that’s true. After all, have you ever tried to bend a coin? ______ The past, present and future walk into a bar. It was tense. ______

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TIDBITS 1034

I recently decided to sell my vacuum cleaner. All it was doing was gathering dust. ______ I’m so bright my mother calls me son. ______

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TIDBITS 1033

I never give up on my dreams! (I just keep sleeping until I’m late for work.) ______ A blonde was at home watching TV with her friends when she heard a noise. She ran out just in time to see a … Continue reading

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TIDBITS 1032

I’ve just written a song about a tortilla. Although, now that I think about it, it’s actually more of a rap. ______ Wife: Whatcha doing? Me: Nothing. Wife: You did that yesterday. Me: I wasn’t finished. ______

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